Friday, October 22, 2010

waiting............. sucks

So it's been a week and one day since our IUI and the waiting is by far the hardest part. I can't sleep at night. I cry and I just worry. Poor Sean. My sweet husband has put up with so much from me. The other night I think I cried for going on 2 hours... Two SOLID hours. And he just holds me.

This whole process has been overwhelming. I can honestly say that I never thought that this is what things would be like when I finally settled down with the man of my dreams. Get married, yes. Babies, yes. shots in my tummy? Nope. They were not in my plan. For nearly the last two years it's been an emotional roller coaster. I have a two year supply of pregnancy tests that I started refusing to use because I hated the feeling of a negative test. Anyways...

the waiting definitely sucks. Emotional, physically, spiritually.... I've been a mess. O goodness. I just want the waiting to be over and the good news to come rolling in. I want the DR to say... YES. YOU did it! you're pregnant... but I've still got almost a whole week.

This time next Friday could be going one of two ways... Lots of phone calls to our loved ones and much celebration and excitement. Or... well... the other one is not to happy. Lots of crying and despair and planning our next move. We shall see. I'm trying to prepare myself for it. Sean keeps joking that if it didn't work and I'm not pregnant he'll be staying with some friends for a few days... of course he'd never do that but it's his way of saying... I know you'll be a wreck. Ahhhhhhh o my. What will time bring??

No one but Heavenly Father knows... I put my trust in his hands.

5 comments:

KK said...

Oh Lauren. I hope you get nothing but great news! You will be in my prayers!

Lauren Stewart said...

you're sweet thank you!!!!!!! we appreciate it!

David and Kira said...

Lauren, I hope everything turns out the way you hope! The only advice I have and I'm sure you have had a lot of these is a priesthood blessing just to give you peace from your sweet husband. Hang in there! Can't wait to hear!

*~McGarys~* said...

Just to be to nervous. Thats not good for you. Just relax. like you said Heavenly Father has it all in his hands. We hope that things go well.

david and kinsley harper said...

we will be praying for you!!!! keep us posted please!!! If this does not work out they way it is sup to, know that heavenly father has a plan.... and it sometimes takes us on a road we HATE but it makes us stronger for when all turns at right! We go threw trials in life so that when something good happens we can be greatful!

i love you very much, try and attend the temple this week, get a priesthood blessing, read your scriptures, pray, and keep yourself busy. If that inculudes comeing in to get your hair done.... so be it! :) jk! But really if you need a deep conditioner or scalp treatment, i will give you one for free!

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