Dear Mom,

I am so excited to see you this week! The day after tomorrow... right after Sean's graduation (which i'm so excited for) we are going to get in the car and head your way! I can't WAIT yay!!! We'll do so many fun things! And play games.. and tell jokes! AND I can't wait for baby Chase to get to meet you and hear your voice!
And.. I'm excited to make Chase's quilt with you.. and i'm excited to have you do the arm thing.. and the hair thing.. And I'm excited to just relax at HOME with my family!! Who I really do not see enough... seriously. NOT ENOUGH. I'm even excited for the car ride out there because I know I'll be so happy the whole way! Even bad TERRIBLE awful drivers won't make me sooo angry that I'll scream... which is good. My road rage has gone up a notch since I've been pregnant!

cant wait to see you mommy! LOVE YOU!! see you soon!!!

love,
LAUREN... me your daughter out here in UTAH!! miss you.. o yeah!!

LOOOONG saturday

So.. Saturday we met up with our Realtor, Jared Fields. It was great. And by great I don't mean we found a house, but we really learned so much. We saw about 12 different properties and I learned that I really want to stay away from town homes/condos. I want privacy, I want my OWN yard and outside gardens I can take care of. And at this point I no longer want to share a wall with my neighbors. We are going to be going back out to look some more, but this weekend we're taking a trip out to California to see my parents!!! So it will have to wait till we get back from there. So we're looking at starting really getting down to business in May. YES YES YES! We cannot wait.

So you can tell there was a big change in plans. Sean and I were getting ready to move to Washington DC right after the baby is born... Well... we got a better offer and are staying here! We both feel really good about it. Then we're not leaving with our brand new baby and taking him over a thousand miles from his grandparents! We're much closer to both sets of parents here in Utah. So we're very thankful and excited to be remaining here in Utah. AND we're very exciting to be moving onto life after school. I'm so proud of my husband. He'll be graduating from BYU-Law this coming Thursday. YAY!!!

first time home buyers???

It is extremely possibly Sean and I will own our first house before the summer is over!! And before baby gets here! This all started when we began looking for rentals up in Davis county which is where Sean's job will be.. Well... There was not much. AND it was all really expensive! Way more than we're paying now. AND no where near as nice. So.. that brought up town homes... and possibility of looking into one of those. Then we did calculating your mortgage payments.. And we could pay the same in a mortgage right now for a beautiful home or town home.
So.. we started looking and we talked to a few Realtor.. then we talked to a lender... then we found some houses we wanted to see... so we called one of the Realtor back and also his lender. well... we had started looking within a price range we thought would be good for us. THEN we thought..um.. better check and see what we can qualify for. So we went ahead and got pre-approved today!!! And wow did they approve us. Of course we are not going to spend near what they said we can. BUT WE ARE PRE-APPROVED!! We can really start looking! And we can't wait! What a good feeling and such an exciting day for us.
Tomorrow??? Well, we gave Jared our Realtor a list of about 20 houses and he'll be showing us about 10 to 12 of them. We can't wait! yeah yeah!!

growing baby!

o i love this baby!!! He's getting sooooo big. Kicking all the time.. doing tricks and playing games. I'm sure he's already telling jokes and planning tricks to play on his big brother and sister, Rush and Hannity. We just went in last week on Monday for our 20 week check up and BOY was our little guy bouncy. He was so full of movement that they couldn't even see him. It was just a black and white image bouncing back and forth... First I thought there was something wrong with the machine. Till the nurse says "wow you've got a mighty wiggly boy in there." It was our son. Flying back and forth across my tummy. The whole time he was just rolling and playing and kicking and BOXING!!!! Chase had his little fists up protecting his face then he was PUNCHING my tummy!!! I thought it was him kicking me i felt all the time but NOPE! My little kid has got a great punch.

I did end up getting sick during the ultrasound. I guess the laying on my back for that long makes a pregnant lady sick. I puked.. Yepp. Bright BLUE throw up. (my kapri sun that morning was blue water cooler) So.. that's what I threw up. Anyways. It didn't seem to bother the baby. He just kept moving and they did all his measurements and checked his parts, heart, liver, brain, legs, arms, and kidney.. ETC. You know.. all the important parts. And they were all there and healthy! Yay! My baby is such a growing machine!

THEN!! Today!?? I SAW him kick my belly! his little foot or fist or whatever he was using came up and pushed my tummy right out!! And I can even still feel him doing it now as I type.. He's just regular tough guy!! So strong!!! YAY! Can't wait to see him in 18 and a half weeks!

baby sister for Rush....

We brought home a new family member this weekend... and what a doll she is. Of course she was a little scared at first and very shy with Rush but it's only been a day and she's already fitting in perfectly! We love her. She is very tiny, very soft and very much a girl. We had thought we were getting a boy and had a boy name picked out and now that we found out she's a girl that changes things. We were going to go with Beck, keeping in line with the theme Rush's name created. But... she's a girl.. a little princess and I think she should have a good girl name.. BUT i can't help wanting to keep with the theme. We're thinking Hanity. We'll see if it sticks. For now we've been calling her kitty... And she actually comes when you call her. (well... when I call her she does) Of course she figured out I was the mom in short order and loves to snuggle me and she puts up with Sean when he wants to cuddle her as well. Which only seems to be when I'm snuggling the little girl.. then he gets it into his head that it's his turn.



ok.. you are probably thinking.. wow a new kitten with your puppy RIGHT before the baby is born. Well.. don't think we hadn't thought about it. Here's what it comes down to. Rush was an order from the DR. When we couldn't get pregnant and I was so sad and angry with everyone I saw the DR thought something small to love and hold and baby would be just the right medicine for me. For me he was depression medication without a refill every 30 days which was the other option. And cure me he did. I had a baby. Yes.. I didn't carry him and he's not human and can't say mom and dad.. But he was my first baby. My baby while the Lord was refining my patience. And with a new baby coming everyone says "o your dog will be so jealous." "o your dog will hate the baby." and so on. So many things that sounded terrible for little Rush. I don't want him to be lonely when the baby comes. So... a little brother or sister he could actually play with seemed like the best option for us and for him. Getting rid of my dog was never an option. But pushing him our and making him sad didn't sound to good either. So here he now has little sister to play with and to occupy his time. And they really seem to love each other. Though... sometimes I think she gets him confused with a mom.. that she can nurse from.. He doesn't let that happen but it doesn't stop her from trying!!
I love my little family!! yes... 2 of the five of us are on four legs and one is snug as a bug in a rug in my belly but we seem to get along just great!!

a giant falls.....

Grandma Shirley Mae Swank, may have only been about 4'9 and 65 pounds soaking wet but she packed a punch of someone much larger then her size. In the last month I have lost two of my grandparents and with that, memories that won't be made with mine and Sean's children. Of course they are happier and without pain now but when I think of them meeting my children for the first time, or even my husband who they never had the chance to meet it brings tears that sing to my eyes.

I have wonderful memories of my grandparents and I'd like to write a few down so that someday my kids can read about them. I'll got from recent to past.

A few months ago when we found out we were pregnant I was able to call my grandma (after calling her a few months before to share our fertility struggles with her) and to tell her we were having a baby. Of course she was getting close to the end and was really tired and this is how the conversation went

"Grandma? It's me Lauren." i said loudly into the phone pronouncing my name carefully

"O Hi Lauren. Glad you called. How are you sweetheart?" A thick accented reply came from my tiny grandma.

"Grandma I have some great news! We're finally pregnant! And we're going to have a baby. I want you to know we are planning on naming our children after you and grandpa Jay. We think that's really important and I wanted you to know that and tell you how much i love you." i tell her

"........................................................." Silence for a minute or so....

"O sweetheart, thank you so much. I'm so excited for you and I'm honored you would think about us to use our names. Well, I've got to go spread the word! I love you! bye!" she said.

"bye, I love you grandma." I tell her quickly.

"love you sweetheart, bye" she said and hung right up. This was actually the last time I spoke with her on the phone before she passed. Short but she knew I loved her. You could tell she was tired and needed to get off the phone but you couldn't miss the calm layer, over the soft grandma, trying not to cry in her voice.

My next memory I want to share is when I was about 15 years old. I had gone out to Georgia to see my Aunt and Uncle and their kids and my Grandma as well who was living with them. She was younger at this point and not as frail, but I really only remember her as tiny and breakable.( and her size 2 and a half NARROW shoe size) One day while I was out there she wanted to take me shopping and so we got all ready and went outside to get in the car and go. Well.. one tiny problem. My aunt and uncle lived on a steep hill and their driveway called for an E-Break on at all times when not driving. Grandma couldn't get the break down. We got in and got ready to go, I had no idea why we were still in the driveway about 5 minutes later. Finally grandma says "Sweetheart, can you please put the break down? I can't get it." I look at her, use my left had which was closest and put it down then off we go. She just smiles and said thanks. And we headed off... HAAAAAAAA I won't ever forget this.

The next one was on the same trip actually. I was upstairs and the phone rang. I grabbed it and they asked for my grandma. So.... I ran downstairs to find her and give her the phone. She was in the bathroom brushing her teeth.. Well her teeth were in her hand and she was brushing her gums... And she couldn't talk. I didn't know what to say... so I just tell her the phone is for her. This is her response "ust inute," I think she was saying just a minute???? I was startled. I'd never seen her with her teeth out before. OF course I had seen them on the counter in their jar when she went to bed... But I'd never seen her try and talk without them. That also I will never forget...

Those are just three of my favorite memories of my grandma. I love that women. And My grandpa as well. I didn't know him that well and really can't even remember how many times I saw him in my life. But I knew he loved me. And more importantly I knew he loved my mom and that my mom loved him. My child will grow up without ever meeting his great grandparents on my mom's side and while that hurts me, I know they were both very ready to go. My Grandma Shirley to meet her love Jay who died when I was in 6th grade and my Grandpa Bill who couldn't stand to be here without Shirley, the mother of his children.

And of all the things i love my grandparents for, I love them for my mom the most. If you have ever met her you know she is the best and strongest person you've ever met. You walk away feeling priviledged to have met her. She grew up in a home much different than the one I knew. She paved out a life for herself and her family. She's as strong willed as they come (that's where I get it..) and she gets that from her mommy. My mom's will to do what is right and stand on the ground she chooses comes from her parents. Her zeal and love of life and people is often described as "genetic". and it is... It's been passed down three generations already. I'm sure my children will have these traits. The traits of their Great Grandma Swank...