over 24 hours now....

So yesterday we got the best news ever... We're expecting... A BABY!!! I had gotten to the point where I was ready to accept the fact that I would never see a positive pregnancy test for myself, that I would never be lying awake at night praying for my baby to be healthy, to see my tummy grow, and to see Sean's features in that little angelic face when he/she/them arrive. And in one instant it was all changed.
That wonderful nurse changed our lives when she brought in that positive test. I can see the future more brightly and see my little family getting bigger and I can feel that love pouring out from my Father in heaven. I cannot believe in the last 36 hours I have said the words "We're having a baby!!!" or "I'm PREGNANT!" and " There's a baby in my belly!!" "Sean! you're going to be a daddy!" I don't think people can actually grasp the reality of what we have been going through even a little bit unless you've tried to sleep a few nights wondering why you cannot have a child? or going to bed feeling like a complete failure.
The one that really used to get me was that if Sean had married someone else he would have for sure already had a baby, and I felt like I was taking that from him. Sean's sweet mom said to me one day when i uttered those heartbreaking words to her... And this is what she said " Well obviously he was supposed to go through this too because we all know he was supposed to marry you. And we don't know why, but you two have to do this hard thing and we'll all do it together." It lessened the sting but of course I still felt terrible for taking that from my husband who was of all things made to be a daddy.
Of course Sean hated it when I talked like that but it was how I felt. But all those feelings and thoughts have been taken away in the last day and a half and replaced with such amazement and gratitude that I'm overly full and don't know where to put these extra bits of happiness. I'm so thankful for a merciful God who knows when the best time is for us and what our lives hold when we don't. Of course I still don't know why we had to wait so long but I do know I will never be more thankful for an answered prayer and I'll never feel closer to my Heavenly Father then I do right now, being pregnant and sharing with my husband the purpose of life and God's great plan for us and our family.
We're so excited to have a little baby join this family. We can't wait to see him/her/them on the ultrasound instead of just eggs... and a barren uterus. O my goodness... Still can't believe it. Well... I guess all we have left to say is welcome baby!!! We can't wait to meet you!!! with love, your parents!