"Forced Patience"

My sweet BFF Kristin calls all this fertility waiting "Forced Patience" which is the most accurate description i've heard yet. I am not a patient person so I consider this 100% forced patience. BUT also? I really don't want to take the test is the other thing.. I hate pregnancy tests. I have taken so many negative ones that I just really have a hate hate relationship with them. I'd rather just know... I do not like those tests.. I feel like a failure every time it comes up negative! so... That's a little dramatic. BUT it's really true. Test is this Friday. BUMMER. Unless of course I'm pregnant! Then happy happy I will be!

IUI? check

So this morning we had our IUI done and it went smoothly. Although not pain free, it was quick and I was okay today. When we were trying to get pregnant with Chase the IUI's left me feeling awful and unable to really move around. My uterus is retroverted and quite hard to access. But having a child changes things and made it much easier. But.. alas, easy for my body wasn't necessarily 'easy'. Thank goodness for family and friends. We were able to leave Chase with Aunt Marcia and little cousin Connor for both our appointments this morning. Chase adores them and didn't even think twice about saying goodbye to mommy and daddy-daddy as we left. I'm so proud. We went out for a little lunch after so I didn't have to cook anything for Chase till I was sure I could move around without too much discomfort. And he fell asleep at 1:30 and slept till 5:00pm. He loves his naps and he always needs them after playing with his "fwiends" as he calls them. I slept that whole time. He woke up happy as a little clam, although it did mess with his bedtime tonight, keeping him up till almost 9pm.
So the big news?? We should know if it worked in about two weeks time. They scheduled me for a pregnancy test November 29. They want me to take one at home then come in for bloodwork and if it didn't work we would do a baseline ultrasound that day and order meds right away. We only have a bit more time with this insurance so we won't take a break at all while we have it. But we are really of course hoping we don't need to do that and that we will just have baby news. We shall see. Thank you all that checked in on me today and are sending baby dust and wishes and praying for our little family. We are beyond blessed and so thankful for you all. XOXO

Trigger shot!

Tonight we did our trigger shot! We got cleared this morning to go ahead and then our IUI will be on Wednesday. We're getting so excited. And I'm so good at all this. Although.. My veins in my elbows are really sore. I've had blood work done every day for the last 1.5 weeks. So I'm glad to have a break for them. I may have to give blood on Wednesday but I'm really hoping not. This is a quick and easy video. It's one of the shots that didn't bleed so no blood and not a flinch from me. I've done 7 days of shots in the last 9 days. Really looking forward to being a pregnant lady. I just miss my babies. I know they are supposed to be here. And Chase is really ready to be a big brother. Although at this point he doesn't care if he has a baby boy or a baby squirrel. Apparently he just wants some sort of mammal. Anything that will entertain him. I hope I don't have a squirrel but I don' know how Heavenly Father could deny him his prayers for a baby squirrel. We shall see. 

Update: One nurse and DR say 3 mature follicles. One nurse and DR say 2.

No idea who is right.

My uterus lining is nice and thick. (LOADS of pills for that) 

I usually have a really think lining. 

IUI will be done Wednesday at 10:00am. 

We go in at 8:30am for about 20 minutes

then come back at 10:00am for the actual procedure.

I am officially extremely excited. 

We will know about 2 weeks from Wednesday if the procedure actually worked. 

We will have time for one more cycle before our insurance is taken from us. We are losing our insurance due to the ACA. (sometimes called Obama Care) And our new insurance will not cover infertility. Ironic thing is they will cover maternity care.. which I won't need unless I have the infertility treatments. So it's quite a catch 22 if you will.

We are just hoping it doesn't take that long and that 2 cycles will be enough. In fact if we could do it in one? That would be obviously the best. 

i did it!

stuck myself with a needle last night. gonalF right in my belly. Chase sat by me and cheered mommy on. It went quick and there was no pain. I'm excited to go to the DR's on Tuesday, after one more shot tomorrow, to see where we are with the growth on the follicles.  I was surprised at how smoothly it went. I had such a busy day yesterday and I only had a few minutes home in the evening to do it before I was back to work again. I had a family photoshoot in the early afternoon what we did makeup and hair for and then we drive down to Mason Neck State park for the actual pictures. THEN I had a rep dinner with my spokesmodels to go over all the details for their work. I worked till 1am this morning. BUT from 6:30 to 7:50 I was home doing dinner and putting the wee baby to bed.

Injections arrived!!

I now have my injections and... I will be taking them over the weekend. I start them on Saturday. On Wednesday this week I start my clomid.  i am so excited it's finally happening. I feel like after that false start last month it was just never going to come. BUT it's happening. they are here. We are doing gonalF this time. It's just sitting in my fridge. Wooooop!

The Photog Blog

I don't know if any of you have had a chance to look at my photography website and blog since we changed host sites and really went in and broke them down and built them into brandnew branding and giving them a brandnew look. I'm so proud of them AND my husband who spend HOUR after HOUR working on making them perfect for me. Here they are! Lauren Michelle Images and my blog! I would love to hear what you think!

update update update!

BUMMER of a month for us! Seriously. Now that we have insurance it's all sorts of interesting with the medicine and procedures we need to do. So this last month we went in and got started right away and off we went into medical induce Lala-land aka CRAZYVILLE. Seriously.. Started taking my medicine and the first thing I take is straight estrogen... it literally makes me nuts. I have no patience and I'm ready to snap all the time. Thank goodness for a sweet baby boy and a husband who forgives me when I speak out in my crazy haze of medical induced anger. But oh my goodness. So estrogen and then clomid (which ALSO makes you crazy) and then blood work and all that jazz. WELL we found out on day 1 of my cycle my insurance requires a test to be done on day 3 of my cycle before I can start injections on day 7 of  my cycle. PROBLEM with that is the approval that they make me wait for?... is a two part process and each can take up to 10 business days... so.. anyone who can think for a second and do a teensey bit of math knows that's not going to work. So I spent... seriously? 14 hours on the phone with my insurance company and drs' office trying to figure out how to hurry the process and get it done before I needed it. It didn't happen. SO the medicine I took was really for nothing. AND now I have to wait till next month before I can even start. Big bummer. But I'm just thankful and really excited to actually get on with the process and get my next baby here!!!! So that's my update for now! Hopefully I'll have a more exciting one soon.

more! blood.. more pills! mmmmm more baby please??

More blood work done today :-) The three of us all went in together on our way to church this morning. Lots of Sunday clothes and a pair of killer high heels. The testing today was the FSH test. My DR and I had decided not to have this done since I'm so young and because we had a healthy baby already. BUT we found out that the insurance will not do anything with our treatments till they have the results of that test. So okay then! Blood work it is. ALSO I started Clomid today. 2 pills a day day 3 through 7.  I can't believe its all happening finally!! I'm actually ON medicine. And i'm nearly ready to inject myself!! All for the sake of baby #2 whom I miss dearly. I feel like there is a little spirit missing from our home and I cannot wait to have him here.

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!??? Chase went to nursery today. HAPPILY! As in.. Sean took him over.. He was ready to get mad then he saw his sweet cousin Connor going in! Ummm CONNOR!! YAY! Chase adores his cousin. (Well Connor is really Sean's cousin.. HUGE age gap.. about 28 years) So anyhow! Seeing his cousin's little friendly face made all the difference in the world! And he was happy to go! And when I went to get him? He wasn't rushing to us or struggling to get out of the teacher's arms. He was super casual about it. (WAY ADORABLE) We are so proud of him!!!

Baseball Game!!

Last weekend (while fighting some severe allergies!) I braved the DC rush-hour and game-time traffic and took Chase into town, picked up the hubbs and we went to see our Nats play!! Chase had been looking forward to it all day.. And the day before.. and a couple days before that. He LOVES baseball. So we were happy when Sean's office all decided to go to the game! So we park about 10 blocks away and we hoof it on over. It's worth it to see Chase light up like a Christmas Tree when he sees the field, the lights and the players! He lives for this game. Even insisted on bringing his own mitt so he could play... Poor thing. His feelings did get a little hurt when he realized he wasn't actually in this game.

motherly advice ;-))

I remember one time a while back when I was really wishing we were on our way to having our second baby already (Chase was like... 11 months old so there was plenty of time for the next little one to make his appearance)

I remember mentioning I didn't know when I was going to actively start TTC baby #2. My sweet mother in law told me this "You will love having your babies but enjoy this time. There is something special about having one baby at home" What a wise woman she is. I couldn't have handpicked a better mom to have added to my family. (I know I was born with a wonder mom, and I'm thankful for both of them!!! HI MOMMY!!!.)

I remember thinking  "Oh of course I understand that." But as I sit and think about what will change when there are two little personalities pulling for my attention, I cannot help but think of how grateful I am to have had all this time alone with Chase. He is such a love. Patient (as in.. the MOST patient 2 year old around) loving (kisses and hugs galore!) smart! (Talking and learning rapidly) and so many more things.. I enjoy taking him with me wherever I go. I love shopping with him and explaining to him the details of the supermarket. I have been blessed with a REASONABLE child! He listens when we explain things to him and he is good. He loves me. For all my faults. For all my shortcomings? He never gets mad because I'm not good enough or because I didn't finish his lunch at exactly 12:30 and he doesn't care if his PJ's don't match (although I do... ) He is sweet and sassy. Kind and loving. I am thankful for all the times he tries new things just because I asked him to. I am thankful for the time I get to share with him. He is an Angel. He gets that from his dad (like most things)

Now.. with that said. Of course he has his meltdowns (many of which i'm positive my sweet Aunt Marcia can hear) and he has his hard days. He isn't perfect. BUT as far as actual perfection goes? He is so close to it. I love my little boy with every single part of me. I love love love love him.


Speaking of little guy?? Naptime is OVER! He just woke up. Mommy time is back on.

Post OVERLOAD. Tons of photos..

Just a little note? The medicine makes me a little crazy...

So over the last week and a half we have all been sick. Chase and I twice and Sean (lucky duck) only once. Chase's 2nd hit last night and early this morning hard. Bummm-mmmer. He had a really high fever for a couple days last week and now? He has the itchy eyes and runny nose going on. I had that one over the weekend it was NO fun at all. But besides the colds and all going through our house? We have found time to do some exciting family activities!

As you know my son loves nothing more that these three things:
1. Mommy and Daddy.
2. Mamma (Grandma) Neggy (Aunt Megan) Bah-Pa (Grandpa
3. Baseball.

So how fantastic that over the last couple weeks we got to have extra of all three?? Usually we take the time to skype with Mamma and Bah-PA and sweet Aunt Neggy about once a week. BUT they actually came out for a visit! How fabulous. That's even better. They played and played and played for 3 solid days. Not long enough for us... BUT it was really great to have them out here. We went to the park we ate lots of food and watched movies and went to a huge party that our church (The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) throws at the Marriott family ranch our in Rune VA. It's American LDS Diplomats, Congressman and women and Senators. All from the LDS community and they host a family ranch party that is just a huge day of fun for the Ambassadors and their families. It was really fun for all of us. We taught Chase how to throw horseshoes, rope cows (which he is AMAZING at) painted flower pots and faces! Watched traditional Native American Dancers and Dancing from the old West and we did Pony carriage rides.. had a huge lunch. Chased baby ponies (mini horses?? so cute) And had an absolute blast with our family. The Marriott's throw one heck of a fun family party. Chase even had a chance to meet His Excellency, The Russian Ambassador and his wife. His Excellency, The Chinese Ambassador and his wife and son. His Excellency, The Jamaican Ambassador and his wife. And of course Chase loved them all. It was really such a good day.

We also had a chance to go to Gettysburg and tour privately all of the grounds. It was amazing. Absolutely beautiful. It made me want to pick up and move right up there. And even besides that the history we were able to see and touch was 100% worth the long car ride and traffic we faced both ways to see. We love when our family comes to town. It's so fun to watch Chase with his family. He loves them so much and they love him. Always paying special attention to my little guy. Makes a mommy so happy to watch others show their love for my child with a care and tenderness and a deep love. Can't wait for them to come back!!! Side note? My baby boy is obsessed with guns. That isn't something we taught him or really even introduced him to.. And let me tell you.. Gettysburg? they have a LOT of guns. Chase kept on saying "More guns please mommy" Ohh my. Okay.